no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
