i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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