Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
