I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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