how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pants are for mortals
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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