Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
