Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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