Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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