I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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