shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
