I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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