how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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