Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
