Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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