i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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