Got a toothbrush?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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