there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So squirting runs in the family.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
