dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize