Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
