i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
