I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
