I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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