He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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