My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
