i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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