butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
