i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
