I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
