I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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