dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
