I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
