I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize