operation harelip BJ is a go
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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