So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
