About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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