Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
