It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
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I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
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You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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