no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize