You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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