I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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