So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
