and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
