dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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