Non-Jews are for practice
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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