Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
