I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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