I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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