He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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