Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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