Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
