I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
