I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
These tits shall not be calmed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
