There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I love you. Go after that dick
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