I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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