It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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