I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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