If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
