Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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