Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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