At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
