just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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