first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
