My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
