If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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