I love black thongs
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
