Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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