Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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