i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Green mimosas i think yes
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
