My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
