he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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