i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
