I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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